This morning, I woke up to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the birds chirping right outside my window and I thought to myself: It is good to be alive.

On a whim, I decided to go with my titas and my Lolo to Bani, Pangisanan. A much needed escape. Fell off the grid for three days. Hiked up and down a mountain to get to the beach front and back, ate a surplus of seafood and mangoes, had over eight hours of sleep for two straight nights.

I am making my way home dark, rested and happy. I wish we could stay longer but everyone has somewhere to be.

Excited to get home cause I miss my little monsters but it was good to be away.

Untitled Uncertainty

laralouisetriestobeartistic:

You ask me what love is 
And to be honest
What do I know? 

All I know is that
There is a world where 
You and I are supposed to be 
Together but we have never even
Tasted that 
Maybe that’s what love is 

We lie on separate beds 
Each night wondering 
Dreaming
Terrified
Of what could’ve been 
As if those are the only thoughts
That are holding us here 

What do I know about love? 
I know that in this world,
My only option is
Not to
Or to do it
When you’ve turned the other way 
Eyes fixated on something more beautiful
To love you from afar 
Maybe that’s what love is 

You hold my heart 
Unaware that the longer it is
Outside my body 
The harder it is for me
To fall in love with someone new 

Maybe that’s what love is 
Maybe I have to get up at five in the morning
And spend hours waiting in line 
just to get to the the counter 
and have them tell me
“sorry, lunch break, 
come back at one”

Maybe it’s supposed to take time 
Maybe it’s supposed to drive you crazy
Maybe it’s supposed to look impossible 
Maybe if I wait long enough 
I will finally get my payoff
At the end of the line, 
Maybe in another world,
They don’t have lunch breaks 

They say that love is supposed to be effortless and 
I love that idea so much I want to believe it 
Maybe that’s what love is 
we want to believe in something so much 
We forget what is 
And what isn’t real 

I wish love could be as effortless 
As getting lost in the sea
But you hate the thought of drowning 
Love is work, you say
It isn’t easy
I never told you love was effortless 
But I wish you would believe it 

I weigh the 
options of being alone 
and being with you 
and to tell you the truth, 
there isn’t much of a difference 
The only thing is that 
when I’m alone, 
I get the bed all to myself 
And some nights that’s okay 
Some nights that’s perfect

And I guess that says a lot about me 
How I would rather be alone at night 
than be safely tucked inside your arms 
To have you hold me, 
my head pressed against your bare chest, 
breathing you in, 
You are toxic - filling my lungs 
I am paralyzed, 
sinking slowly into you

And maybe that’s what love is
That it scares you a little bit.
The thought of you is terrifying 
and I wish I knew why 

What do I know about love? 
Not much 
but I know that I could love you 
and that’s about everything 
I think I need to know
about you 
About love. 

And maybe that’s what love is 
Maybe love is supposed to be simple 
And undying 
Ever-loyal
Not the give-and-take, just give 
Even when you get nothing back 
Not us, or you and me 
Just me 
And that strong conviction 
That maybe one day
Maybe one day 

It’s two in the morning 
and I have my recorder on, 
dragging poetry out of thin air

I wish I knew how to love you
But maybe that’s what love is